My first court appearance — only as a witness! Public transport conspired to make it as hard as possible to get there. The first train I was on stopped at Flinders Street, then I couldn’t find a single train that would go around the loop, finally opted for one heading for Spencer Street and hopped on to find it inexplicably delayed for eight minutes past the departure time. It shouldn’t be too hard to run them on time, should it? They could at least start on time! It goes without saying that none of the information signs inside the trains were working — no chance of finding out the name of the next station — just like the trams, they’re either blank or very helpfully state “Connex” or “M>Train.”

Arrived at the court and went through the rigmarole of metal detectors and beepings, signed over my camera for safe-keeping. Up to the second floor to the information desk, then wait quarter of an hour until it opens, then get told to go back down to the ground floor, across to the other side of the foyer, and back up the stairs to the first floor and wait! An hour or so of waiting, a brief description from the prosecuting officer of what will happen with the magistrate and barristers, and a lot of sitting around waiting. People come, people go, I recognise a few faces from the train on . Suddenly its all over, the defendent has changed his mind and is now pleading guilty to armed robbery and two counts of attempted robbery. No witnesses are required and we can all go home without having to give evidence.