Arrg, the one day I leave my camera at home is the one day that I get a perfect opportunity for a photo. There I was, stopped at the red light when a “cyclist” appeared, riding illegally along the footpath and across the pedestrian crossing. Dead flat tyres, knees almost hitting his chin on a way-too-small bike, the bag and clothes and appearance indicating he’s one of the myriad of overseas students here at Monash University. Priceless finalé — the helmet is on backwards with the straps almost covering his eyes. I caught his eye and quite reasonably say “YOUR HELMET IS ON BACKWARDS. He smiles, looks back, nods and replies “Hello, Hello!” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, the residents around here drive like they have no idea of Australian laws, why should they be any different on a bike?

It must have been the day of the bike idiot though, later in the evening I drove into Richmond at 7.30 pm, while turning right I nearly collected a stupid girl in black clothes who was riding along Swan street with no lights (just saw her silhouette as she rode past the stationary tram through the exiting passengers). I then sat waiting for ten minutes to pick up Jo, three cyclists pass in the narrow street:

• First one is girl in helmet, dark clothes, no lights, takes off the wrong way down the middle a one-way street.
• Second one is guy with no helmet, no lights, meandering down the centre of the road.
• Third one had a nice shiny bright white headlight, then he went past and I saw that he had a nice bright shiny white light on the rear too!

I’ve seen plenty of idiots with a flashing red on the front, this is the first idiot I’ve seen with a white light on the rear.