I cannot believe this is sustainable!

My current old pair of jeans failed catastrophically on the weekend, suddenly tearing through around the groin and across the backs of the legs where for months they’d been “a bit thin.” Getting a new pair was complicated by Covid lockdown, but to replace them with the same cheapies in the same size and use KMart’s “click & collect” seemed simple enough.

Step 1, locating them in the online catalogue wasn’t too hard.

Step 2, order them for collection – there’s a $3 handling fee on cheapskate orders, so I ordered two pairs. Reassuringly, I’m told that:

“Your items are in stock”

Step 3, pay and wait. Slightly annoyed that they insist that I provide a “Delivery address” even though I’ve selected “click & collect”

Step 4. Wait. “You will receive an email when ready for collection”

But then…

• Email 1: +0hr, Paypal, “You’ve sent a payment of…”
• Email 2: +0hr, KMart, “Order received”
• Email 3: +18hr, KMart, “Click & Collect Unavailable – items not in stock”
• Email 4: +36hr, KMart, “We’ve shipped all outstanding items”
• SMS 1: +48hr, courier, “Your parcel is on route(sic) for delivery today…”
• Email 5: +48hr, courier, “Your delivery is on its way!”

Step 5. Delivery… or not

• Phone 1: “I can’t find your house” – courier had been “Searching for over ten minutes” but was unable to find our house (number 2) and was it actually apartment 2 of number 4? No. Over and over again I tried to explain to her to go to the very end of the street, over and over again she said “number 4 is next to a tennis court”. Yes, it is, but it is not at the end of the street, you cross the road, continue in our street to the end of our street, and there’s our house. Or you could just enter the address in Google Maps and be shown the exact house! Finally she says she’ll find it. Annoyingly, I was not home so I was trying to direct her to the house.

• Phone 2: Ten minutes after the first call the courier calls back, “I still can’t find your house and people at number 2/4 don’t know it.” More stuffing about while I yet again try and explain that house number two is at the end of the street, what colour it is, that is not unit 2 of 4, or even unit 2 of 86 of the cross street, but is a house and it is number two, and it is at the end of the street where it stops at the railway line. Around and around we go. Finally she hangs up, although I’m not sure if its because she understands how to find the house or if she’s given up. I managed to send a message to my wife asking her to go outside and try and find the courier!

I finally got home to find that the jeans were delivered. Apparently the courier was next to her van, standing five houses away on the opposite side of the road when Jo walked up the street waving madly to try and attract her attention!

Then to remind me of the entire stupid business, five hours later:

• Email 6. +56hr, courier: “Your item was delivered”

How can all this handling, messaging and complete inept couriering be cost effective on items this cheap?

ps. Couriers Please, how about you hire people who can read a map?