I’m not sure whether the author is truly confused, or if this is meant to be just a blatant attempt at grabbing membership numbers for their forums. I won’t dignify them with a name or URL, but here’s a “personal message” I received through the last.fm messaging system with their name elided:
You are invited to join ……., a Gothic & Metal online community aimed at making it easier for like minded people to meet and get to know each other.
The email system at work is hosted by Google, with all the usual spam filtering and folders.
Up until the start of March 2013 I used to skim through the spam folder two or three times a week and check for false positives, of which they’d be one or two a month, rescue them and then I’d delete everything else. In late February and early March 2013 the amount of spam arriving every day and making it into the spam folder became ridiculous, it was impossible to process it so I’ve taken to ignoring it, but jotting down the number of items in the folder every day.
Bwahaha, there it is in my spam folder, an Important Tax Refund Notice!, and verbatim:
Australia Revenue Service " Tax Refund "
St. George Bank :-) $3,520.34 AUD Tax Refund Process From ACT @ April 2011.
We received notification from Australia Revenue Service about the TAX refunds of $3,520.34 AUD.
We advice you to DOWNLOAD on our Secure server Attachment sent along with this Message and enter all information as requested on the St.
When not snowed under by the sheer weight of spam and rubbish mail, its important to take time out to find those little amusements in the day to day junkmail. Here’s one that came in today, personally addressed to a one-off email address that was on my site for a while, asking for a link exchange because clearly I have something to do with shonky weight-loss products.
Please use the following details for my link:
So many beautiful lonely Russian ladies writing to me. I’m so sorry girls, I just can’t seem to find the time to get back to you all individually. As a homage, here’s a photomontage of all those pretty pictures you keep sending in the mail:
Always such a tedious task, but I have to find the gems amongst the dross:
“I am MR. Gray Norman, an accountant”
Gray Norman, a gray name for a profession gray by reputation… how very appropriate.
“I am a straight forward person”
The wonders of the English language… given all the sexual innuendo in the spam, is he really meaning that he is a straight, forward person, or a straight-forward person?
My name is Mohammed a merchant in Dubai, have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.
Well, Mohammed, a merchant in Dubai, I can recommend grammar lessons. Defiling medical treatment is probably not what you intend.
Ah, spam… if I can’t stop it at least I can derive some enjoyment from it:
My name is Mr.Mabo Lomas, a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in carrying for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.
These random word lists in the latest batches of spam are getting quite weird. Sometimes they almost seem to be saying something. I wonder if I could rig up a script to repopulate a dictionary from them? From yet-another-online-bank-scam comes: /blacksmith, glossed, papa, sarcasm, concession, riemann, arsenic, seacoast, chisel, dramatic, brent, synchrotron, stonehenge./
OK, this takes the cake for the weirdest spam to arrive in my inbox for quite some time:
Dear Portal Administration!
I have recently come across your site and liked it very much.
I suppose that the visitors of our resources belong to the same social group and my site could be useful for your audience so I suggest to exchange our links. This will help both of us to increase Link-Popularity and accordingly get top positions in many searching system, Google for instance.
Dear Senator Alston.
Since you seem to be under the impression that you can control the internet, here’s a sample of today’s spam. Once you’ve passed your anti-spam laws, I’ll be forwarding all I receive straight to your office so that you can best deal with transgressors.
1 O Aug 04 Fulfullmentcent ( 0) Friend, your favorite breakfast food - ou 2 O + Aug 04 email@example.com ( 0) Fw: Hard anaI ACTl0N!
Spam Memorable event of the day — my first ever SMS spam, closely followed ten minutes later by my second ever SMS spam.:
Congratulations!! your number won US$30,000 login to <//WWW.MASS-LOTTERY.ORG> to claim username: 00767910791 password :6546546 :firstname.lastname@example.org
Strange thing was that both came from South Africa, and I half thought it was a message from a colleague there…
Cycling This afternoon’s cycling adventure was a 38km loop up the Dean’s Marsh road from Lorne, then around through the — rapidly cooling — forest, and a screaming descent from Erskine falls back to Lorne.
Ooo, look! I finally received a copy of the notorious Nigerian Scam email.
I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but we went and saw The Scorpion King this evening. 92 minutes of absolute stupidity, but that’s what we were expecting. I think it must have the highest proportion of fight-scenes to movie-length of any movie. Left the cinema half deafened, since the Jam Factory seems to believe that everything has to be turned up to 11, and with my ribs and jaw aching from laughing so much.
For what is a day without spam?
I just had to include this. After years of waiting, I finally recieved the famous Nigerian Business Proposal scam in my email inbox.
Here, for you education and amusement, I’ve included the text in full.
**Engr. WILSON OSARO** Treasury Department Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation Tel: +234 80 231 22537. PERSONAL Dear sir, I am WILSON OSARO a Treasury Officer in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and a close associate of the immediate past Minister of Petroleum Resources.
I experiment. I play. I write and I take pictures. Some of the site is organised around topics, other parts are organized by date, then there’s always the cross-references between them.
Long ago it started as a learning experiment with a few static HTML pages, then I added a bit of server-side includes and some very ugly PHP. A hand-built journal/blog on top of that PHP, then a few experiments in moving to various static publishing systems. I’ve never wanted a database-based blogging engine, so over the years I’ve tried php, nanoblogger, emacs-muse, silkpage and docbook before settling on emacs org-mode for writing and jekyll for publishing. But the itch remained… I never really liked jekyll and the ruby underneath always seemed so much black magic. So now the latest incarnation is org-mode and hugo.