I guess this is how all the non-English-speaking inhabitants of the planet feel when inundated with English language emails and surveys. Last week I bid on a very dodgy looking item that appeared in ebay, the next day it had vanished. The next day an identical dodgy-looking item reappeared, but from a different seller. I bid on it…

Yesterday I received a great long email from http://ebay.de/, I have no idea why, either they guessed from my surname that I’m German (which I’m not) or they saw Australia and mis-read it as Austria, or some other reason. Any way, I passed it through a translator, laughed at the output, guessed it was something about a dodgy transaction, and wrote back to ebay.de to let them know that I can’t read or speak German. They then wrote back telling me that the auction had been fraudulent and they’d suspended the seller. Today I receive a second German email from ebay.de, this one pointing me off to a survey β€” customer satisfaction I guess β€” I’ve ticked a whole range of boxes, then finally at the end there’s a space for comments, so I told them yet again that I can’t speak or read German!