Billions and billions of dollars spent on a spectacular display of something on Wednesday night that left millions of people around the world collectively holding their breath and going “Huh?” Ducks and trams and what appeared to be the Crusty Demons of Dirt chromed up, polished and sedated while they popped itty-bitty wheelies around ballerinas. The flying tram spewed forth a horde of tram conductors in a scene reminiscent of the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind — maybe that’s where they all disappeared to when they were sacked and vanished from the tram network years ago. Footballers and more footballers, oh, you’d almost be forgiven for thinking that the major sponsor also has the rights to the AFL football! Its one saving grace was watching the sickly-sweet TV coverage with the sound turned off, and listening to the hilarious commentary from Leaping Larry L and assorted others on RRR.

Australia’s first medal is won in an event that the commentators carefully work around the name of— an event called the 48kg women’s snatch. The idiot commentators congratulate a swimmer on winning Australia’s all-important first gold medal, quarter of an hour after Anna Meares won one on the velodrome. When not doing that they manage to sound like yokel red-necks massacring any non-Anglo-saxon name and making patronising comments about any country who spends less than Australia does on its national sports teams.

Meanwhile the cycling teams from a number of African countries have arrived without bikes and are borrowing equipment from big-hearted locals!

Today’s photos

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