Seven days a week we get the Age delivered in the mornings; for the first year or so that we lived here, whoever was delivering it managed to sling it up alongside or underneath the car — no problem, other than having to grovel around on our knees some mornings to get it out. About a year ago they changed their approach, it gets lobbed over the fence and lands bomb-like in the courtyard-sized front garden. Over the months we’ve been getting more and more branches broken off plants, and repeated phone calls and visits to the local newsagency result in bugger-all being done. Three out of four times the guy in the shop has denied that they deliver to our street at all!

Sent off an official complaint to the subscriptions department on Friday, then today the paper has broken off one of the four main branches of one plant! Maybe when we pay the next bill we should attach damages claims for each destroyed plant….